Have you heard the Toby Keith song, “I Wanna Talk About Me� It’s a man’s anthem, of sorts, in which a man isn’t able to get a word in edgewise in his relationship. Just as it’s important to hear what your man has to say, it’s important that YOU are getting a voice in your relationship too. In complaint #7, women say that each wants to feel as though her man is taking an interest in her, paying attention to what she likes, and that he wants to know what is going on in her life. Of course she wants this! Some men (and some women) are just self-absorbed. It’s just the way they are, regardless of how into you they are. We all have our character flaws. The rest of the time, if a man isn’t taking interest in you or your life, it’s just a great way to realize he’s not interested in you! The good news is there is someone out there who WILL be interested in you. He won’t be able to get enough of you. (And if you need help finding him, check out our services page and let us get you started on the path to meeting Your Match!)
It’s All About You
Kazan Singles
And men, if you’re feeling the need to constantly check up on your girlfriend, question her friendships with men, or tell her what she can or can’t do, and where she can or can’t go, you need to think realistically about whether you should be in a relationship with her. The jealously will eventually destroy your relationship, and will drive you made in the meantime. If you feel you have reason you can’t trust her, it’s time to end the relationship and find someone you CAN trust. The cliche about the butterfly is actually pretty accurate: Catch one in your hand, but don’t hold on too tight or you’ll kill it. Keep a loose grip and if it flies away it will be happy to return.
Mr. Angry/Possessive
Jealousy is truly a monster. Not only can it destroy relationships, but it can also eat it’s host alive from the inside. Sadly, extremely jealous men are usually not born – they’re made, often by bad previous experiences in which they were cheated on. So we can help keep the monsters away by being faithful and true to men we’re in relationships with, Ladies! If you find yourself face-to-face (i.e. in a relationship) with Mr. Angry/Possessive, tell him how his jealous behavior makes you feel. Reassure him that you’ve never cheated (if that’s true) and that he has nothing to worry about. You can even tell him (if you have to) that, worst case scenario, if you ever do have feelings for someone else you’ll just break up with him – that you will NEVER CHEAT!
Too Much Boy, Not Enough Man
Loveawake makes a great point that men need to keep in mind: “At some point it’s time to grow up†– so true. One of the least romantic dynamics that can spring up in relationships is the mommy/child dynamic. Ugh – it’s awful. Women don’t feel attracted toward a man they have to feed, clothe, and rock to sleep at night. The more independent and strong the man, the more he can handle his business, pay his own bills (on time!), and provide her loving, emotional support, the healthier the relationship dynamic will become. This isn’t to say that men should lose their playful side… just it should be a side and not all that they are.
Too Much, Too Soon
Although it seems the commitment-phobe is far more prevalent, you will also occasionally run into the man who will talk about marriage on a first, second or third date. This isn’t always a bad sign; he may just be testing the waters to see if you’re looking for a committed relationship. However, if you’re getting the vibe that he’s actually looking to propose in the next week, that’s a different story. If he’s coming on too strong, do him the favor of letting him know that you’re flattered, but that you’d like to slow the pace a little bit. These men can often tend to be “demanding and overbearing†say women who have experienced this personality on first dates. Men, have a little self-awareness of how you’re coming across. It’s find to eventually suss out whether she’s interested in marriage and kids at some point down the line, but don’t start planning the family vacation to Disneyland on the first date